observations from a sunday

1. i think about my family alot. i woke up semi-early this morning to make some pumpkin bread to take to church, and pretty much spent the morning thinking of my family off and on. i thought about how much fun i have cooking with my mom; i thought about what details i want to add to a bag i'm crochetting my brother so he'll really dig it; i thought about how strange it is that i have a brother i've shared existence with for 24 years but know so little about him, how that makes me feel, how it might make him feel, and if he ever thinks about it; i thought about what i'm getting my dad for christmas, and how great it is to hear him laugh. i think about how much i miss them.
2. i worry about what people think ALOT. we went to dinner last night, with friends from seb's work, and seb paid with a credit card, and they gave him cash for their part. i felt bad that some of them gave me presents, even though it made me feel good, because i didn't want them thinking i was trying to get presents, and because i might not know about their birthdays to get them something. then i felt bad that they had to pay so much to eat (though seb said it was average) and then sent us home with the leftovers. then this morning i realized when i counted the cash that they paid way to much, basically paying our share of the meal, we just paid for the tip. i worried they'd think we noticed, didn't want to pass up a free meal, and were happy to freeload. when we went to church, we got there too early (they were finishing bible study), because i was worried about getting there too late, and i wouldn't go in, i hid behind some bushes, so i wouldn't interrupt and they'd think i was rude.
3. on the road outside our neighborhood, there were two roadside vendors selling stuff out of trucks. one was selling ahi poke (raw, seasoned tuna chunks) and the other one about 30 feet away was selling diving gear and spearfishing equipment.
4. in walmart, the christmas decorations are right next to the outdoor garden center which is still up and fully stocked. in the media section, the hawaiian music racks take up half as much room as pop, rock, r&b combined.
5. oddly but wonderfully enough, today felt like fall. part of it was the smell of pumpkin bread, but it was also very cool today, i'm not convinced it ever broke 80, even though it was only partly cloudy. i wore a tshirt and jeans, and wanted coffee to warm up. lovely!