oh, where to begin

i really must get out of this habit, of not blogging for a long time and then trying to catch up with a painfully long blog, but until i do, the three people that apparently read my blog will just have to get over it.

so, on the eve of seb and i beginning our first venture into the world of lawsuits, andrew had to go and screw it all up, and rip our case right out from under us. such ridiculous attention to detail should really be punished. see charlie and lindsey's blog if you're really interested in what the heck i'm talking about.

i get to see a friend from kirksville in a few days, sam morefield, who i worked with at the juvie center, is coming out to see her good friend katie who just moved here as an army nurse, and lucky for us, that means we can visit, too. plenty of fun will be had, in what i imagine will feel like not nearly enough time. speaking of which, hotel schnellbacher (ok, really, more like motel with mascots) is still open for business, so far having only hosted seb's parents. i certainly hope some of you are saving up the mad ca$h or using those frequent flyer credit cards to come on out and see hawaii, and oh yeah, us too. i cook well!

i had another couple of days when my entire life seemed to be balancing on knifedge, and i kept waiting for that letter from God explaining His grand plan for me. didn't come, at least not in paper form, so i'm going with the 'stop me if this is wrong' strategy. i believe i am going to enroll in nursing school. hopefully i can use my credits from truman to get a bsn without another 4 years. seb was testing out (again) my leanings toward med school, and even though it was really really really tempting, the entire reason i decided AGAINST med school in the first place (not wanting to invest that much time and money in something i would give up so quickly if we have children) is still there gnawing away. almost four years and one miscarriage into this marriage, i must admit that part of me is screaming DON'T PASS THIS UP FOR KIDS YOU'LL NEVER HAVE i don't think that's my 'sensible' voice speaking, and the idea of fostering and/or adopting older kids is still strongly there. in nursing i still have plenty of room to advance and add degrees and certifications to it, without such a huge time and money commitment up front, and i still get to use my nerdy love of science. and help people.

the hardest part for me has been coming to terms with the fact that i am not a useless human being, simply here to suck away my husband's hard earned money. yeah, that can be a real downer. marriage tip: if your husband tells you he loves you, needs you, and just wants you to be happy, try to believe him (the first time), it saves you alot of time you'd have spent feeling sorry for yourself.

finally, not to be outdone by the hinderliters, behold the new blog template. me likey.