a lost opportunity, and what it may say about me

last week i was in the grocery store checking out and witnessed an episode i wished i had interfered in but did not. at the grocery store i go to, the men and women who bag up your groceries do not get paid, they only get what they receive in tips from the customers. they also (unless you tell them not to) load your groceries onto their cart and take it out and load it into your car. because of how this works, they can either get paid alot per hour or nothing at all, it depends totally on how busy things are, how many baggers show up that day (there have been times when 15-20 of them are lined up waiting their turn at a register) and how much, if anything, the customers are willing to tip them. i usually give them a dollar just for bagging, and up to 5 for taking it out and loading the car (which i seldom do, i feel strange having someone else do it when i am perfectly capable of doing it myself, although i appreciated it when i was pregnant and had 40 lb bags of dog food to haul.)

anyway, last week, i'm checking out, and behind me another woman starts yelling at the baggers.

'NO! i said DON'T DOUBLE BAG, DON'T TIE THEM OFF!'

i turn around, and she starts grabbing things roughly out of their hands, thrusting other things just as roughly into their hands, rearranging the stuff in the bags, all the while, criticizing them and swearing.

i wish i would have said something, but i didn't. i didn't initially because i didn't feel like it was my place, but by the end, i didn't because the words that DID come into my head were not Christian and probably would not have helped anything. well, not that i expected her to have some epiphany and stop being rude or apologize, i mostly wanted to say something to give voice to the workers who would probably have not been allowed to return if they had stuck up for themselves, and i wanted to let them know someone objected to this treatment.

(sidenote: for those who think getting paid only in tips but in a system that could get you an hourly wage well over minimum wage is no bum deal, i know firsthand what the cost of living is here, especially through my work in the shelter, and i am sure they need every dollar they get.)

if i had been able (or prepared) enough to come up with something to say about this situation that would have gotten my point across without being rude myself, i would have (probably.) but what scares me is that i am not completely sure, and that i resisted an urge to help... even in minor situation. i just read on a friend's blog excerpts of reports of horrifying atrocities going on in africa... the sort of thing you know probably exists somewhere but try not to think of too often... and i have to ask of myself, if i cannot even find a way to speak up about someone being rude to baggers in a checkout line, what chance to i have of ever being able to do something about much larger, much more serious acts against humanity? that is not to say that i personally could have any direct diplomatic impact and all of a sudden things would change... but it is the sort of thing that urges you to want to do something... and i am afraid i will always be that person who cries at home about how people treat each other and does nothing more.

this applies to my Christian walk just as much: i have family members, and friends, some who may be reading this, who i know are not saved and have not given their lives to Christ, and i am so terrified of losing those relationships by becoming a 'fanatic, chasing them down and beating them with the bible Christian' in their eyes, that i am, so far, willing to risk the possibility of their salvation to avoid the risk of pushing them away. that is not love. i pray for them, and desire them to be saved... i guess i think someone else will step up to the plate and spare me having to muster the courage. i think that's one of the most tragic attitudes in our culture, whether it's supermarket rudeness, rapes and killings in africa, or a soul that never finds Christ, we think it's terrible, and someone should do something about it. someone else that is.

the problem is that everyone else is thinking the same thing.